After yesterday which was a magnificent Loving Goddess day, I was fully expecting to have another sun-filled glittery day. But no, today was a weird day. People falling, getting hurt, acting and speaking from their ego when you least expect it, crying, feeling negative and disheartened, saying they are tired or lonely beyond words. Feeling numb and/or faint were definitely today's common symptoms. Go figure! Having to process too much energy and manage too much change at once me thinks.
I countered it by dedicating the day to practicing gratitude. I felt deep in every cell of my body how heart-felt gratitude connects us with the magnificence of Divine Creation and so keeps us humble. I stayed with that for quite a while.
Behind the gratitude/humility feeling I realized that our world has been changing so fast for so long, energetically, economically and therefore emotionally that many of us don't know who we are any more. I am not just talking about a traditional break down as defined by psychologists. I mean the shifting of deep spiritual reference points that is forcing a re-patterning of our energy systems in ways that we cannot conceptualize and therefore cannot express. The inability to express the experience creates a lack of commonality when emotionally we could really use the comfort of sharing our experiences.
I understand that we are only feeling discomfort because we are resisting the natural process of change. And this time we really have no idea where we are headed, in a big way. All we can do is trust, as we watch our egos being constantly challenged and dismantled, that beyond the taking apart of the walls in our lives, beyond the discomfort, is what we have been wishing for. What have you been wishing for? Now is the time to be sure as your wishes create now more than ever.
Under all this is emerging a current of powerful untamed life force. I suspect it is to keep us safe when we start yielding this power that the ego must vanish first and fast.
Surrender is where it is all driving us. A friend's advice this afternoon was: "Dig deeper, love yourself unconditionally". What kind of day did YOU have?
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I was my usual strong self until all of my evening appointmens turned out to be animals that needed to be released from thier suffering in the next couple of days then came home and learnt that Patrick Swazye died. Patrick's picture has been on my desk for almost a year, I was part of his prayer circle, and although I was relieved his pain was over all I could think of was his wife, and I could see her pain, and her pain dropped into my bucket and it overflowed. Tears uncontrollable at times flowed throughout the day yesterday. As I looked at all the love I saw it try and take me to sad places, I didn't let it, I rode the waves, saw all the love given to me..offered me..showered at me and I stood in awe..with gratitude and thanked the Universe. I may not have found the 'one' yet but I have found so much more love out here to recieve, give and share, thanks for showing me so many more sides to myself and allowing me to sort through it here :)
ReplyDeleteIn gratitude to you dear Sophie :)
every day I heal a little bit more
"I countered it by dedicating the day to practicing gratitude. I felt deep in every cell of my body how heart-felt gratitude connects us with the magnificence of Divine Creation and so keeps us humble. I stayed with that for quite a while."
ReplyDeleteThis, my friend, is why I am grateful for you and your insight.
Blessings,
Frank
Thank you so much to you both Luna and Frank for reading my blog and commenting on it. I really mean it when I say that together we create and we heal. Your comments moved me deeply. :o)
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